Fake it 'til ya Make it

A co-worker told an interesting story about a teacher who, after only one year with the school board, was fired because he failed to teach the curriculum to the third graders and instead made them put on a series of his favourite plays. Fourth grade came along and these poor kids’ tests revealed that they didn’t know how to multiply or divide, but they could damn well put on a show.

This story brought to mind some key questions for me:

1. What does a third grade Jean Val Jean look like, and can he be taken seriously in such an emotionally charged role?

2. How long was that teacher going to keep fakin’ his job for?

3. How long were those kids going to keep smiling and nodding like Kate’s 8 in their acceptance of enforced child stardom?

4. How many people go through life smiling and nodding or “fakin’ it til they make it” so to speak?

Naturally, this story made me think of times when I too have been caught in situations where I’d been smiling and nodding without ever having a clue of what was going on. These types of scenarios have often involved high school geography where my default answer to any question was “Winnipeg”, or any time I’ve heard a presentation that sounds like it’s being delivered by a Speak n’ Spell. It’s during these times I zone out, my eyes glaze over, yet I have a tricky look on my face that suggests you’re super interesting. Overall, it’s very easy to nod and smile and put on a show.

Sadly, the lesson seems to be that everyone gets caught when they exploit the nod and smile method of cruising through life especially when they have to answer questions. For instance, a friend of mine once provided the following answers on a French test:

Who’s your favourite popular French comic strip character? (Answer: Celine Dion).

When setting the table for a dinner party, what do you place beside each place setting? (Answer: jam and baguettes).

When we got our tests back my friend explained that she thought the first question was asking about who her favourite French celebrity was, while the second question was asking what she’d serve at a dinner party before it really got poppin’.

Point being, you can only smile and nod until someone calls you out, or your teacher has a laugh.

In a fairly recent situation however, I wasn’t being tested, I wasn’t selectively choosing where it might be appropriate if I simply inserted the default “Winnipeg”, rather, I was genuinely trying to do well.

At work, I’d shown up for our regular 3pm meeting in the same room we always met in. I was earlier than normal, had brought a laptop and a tonne of other unnecessary items, and entered the room to sit where I usually did.

My team was never especially early, so I started thumbing through my notes and making a bulleted list of things I’d do later that evening:

1. Make tacos

2. Do laundry

3. Enjoy copious amounts of television

4. Sleep

5. Repeat previous day

Wow. Busy evening.

After about five minutes, an older gentleman entered the room and sat across from me without saying a word. He placed his notebook in front of him, adjusted his glasses, scratched his head, then slowly lifted his eyes toward me.

I grinned without thinking it was odd I’d never seen this man or that he wasn’t on my team, and continued looking around the room, waiting.

There were now more people in the room, setting up granola bars and other snacks on a table to the side.

Two more older guys came in, sat at the table, greeted each other, looked at me, shrugged and looked at the snacks.

Everyone was moving very slowly and I got the feeling that this was going to be a long meeting. There’d be talk of acquisitions, mergers, synergy, team work, progress, I’d continue smiling at these nice new people and maybe even get one of those cool marshmellow date squares that looked – woah woah woah SHUT IT DOWN. MAYDAY MAYDAY YOU’RE IN THE WRONG MEETING AND THEY ALL KNOW!!!!!

Yes, all of these people, who were on their own team and likely met each week too, were sitting and smiling back at me and knew perfectly well I didn’t belong. They politely nodded and smiled at me until I realized that my nodding and smiling had gotten way out of hand. This was quite the production.

I knew I had to get up and leave, but the situation was very awkward at this point as the room was now filled with more old guys who didn’t want to explicitly tell me to leave.

So I did the only thing I could think of at the time. I collected my notebooks, laptop, coffee, and rather awkwardly stumbled to the other side of the table as the old men smiled and nodded politely. Everyone was staring so I added, “I forgot... a pen...” and fumbled with my key card at the door.

The moral of the story is that everyone at one point is that teacher puttin’ on a show and frankly, sometimes the show must go on. But at other times, you gotta call it. You can’t throw a gaggle of third graders out on stage because you don’t really want to teach math that day, and you can’t eat from the dessert tray in the meeting you don’t belong at (I know, bummer huh?). But, C’est la vie. That being said, for any of those who are now back in school and suffering through various speak and spell professors...break a leg bobble-head dolls!