This Post has been Brought to you by the Word Awareness

I recently watched a rather large three year old exclaim, “cats love me!” and then proceed to mount a murderous looking cat for a ride.

Yeah, sometimes it’s possible to be completely oblivious to the world.

Another example of this witnessed obliviousness occurred when I was at the library and some guy was sharing his terribly inappropriate dating strategies at a volume that suggested he was trying to contact the international space station to inform NASA of how he picks up, in his own words, “hot chicks, dude...like tens and twelve’s...even though I’m technically only an 8 or an 8.5 on a good day.” (Huston, we have an asshole).

Also notable was when I saw someone use an open laptop as a triangular-umbrella substitute in a heavy thunderstorm.

Alas, while I may be the witness to a lack of awareness in people, I’m certainly not immune, as the following examples will surely illustrate.

When the weather started to improve this season, I took an extended walk to work. My leisurely stroll included warm sunshine, chipmunks darting out on pebbled pathways, the smell of freshly cut grass, and I even got to stop for coffee and the paper. This is the kind of morning I dream of. Relaxing, refreshing, and a bit ridiculous considering it goes something like a Claritin commercial and I half expect people to begin prancing around in grass fields and literally stopping to smell roses.

My fairytale morning came to an abrupt end as I was hit by the frigid cold air conditioning when opening the door to the office. I wish my present-self could have told my past-self five things at this moment:

1. Your little leisurely morning, yeah...it ends now. Hope you enjoyed it.
2. You’ve forgotten something fairly significant.
3. You probably shouldn’t have stopped for the coffee which you’ll spill on your pants in ten minutes.
4. You should stop listening to Lady Gaga’s Alejandro. Seriously. Give it a rest.
5. You’ll regret that you took your sweet time to get here. (Wait for it...)

As I walked closer to my cubicle, it became very apparent that something wasn’t right. My desk phone was unplugged and it sounded like there was a deafening car alarm going off inside my desk.

Turns out I had completely forgotten about setting an alarm on a device which I had locked in my drawer. So, while I was off gallivanting with the woodland creatures, my coworkers had been suffering an intense loop of the worst sound on the planet every thirty seconds for an hour.

Awareness. It’s a very valuable feature which comes on most updated versions of human being.

This event in mind, it seems as though the working world is attempting to teach me about being aware. Unfortunately, I’m only clueing in now.

While I’ve been staring at my computer daily, cursing excel spreadsheets, I’ve also been mindlessly eating with my free hand. I’ve taken up eating junk food like it’s a professional sport. Like I’m training for the fatty-triathlon (which for the record would hypothetically take place at a Burger King and include corn-dog, cake, and pasta eating contests).

It was Thursday of the past week while opening the wrapper of a Wunderbar when I realized in an “ah-ha” moment that it was my third in the week (WHAT THE WHAT!!?!). At this point in the day (approximately 3pm) I’d also consumed 2 cafe mochas. These mochas are made from sugary syrup the consistency of 1 part Nesquik and 3 parts mud. It should also be noted that I am mildly addicted to the cheddar Crispy Minis from the vending machine.

I’d continue to effectively demonstrate my addiction with a list of what I’d eaten this past week, but i’m fairly embarrassed and I’m sure you’ve gotten the point. Suffice it to say it involved 2 A&W teen burger combo meals. (Don’t ask.)

In another act of ignorance, I nearly arrived that very day dressed in the exact uniform of a popular electronics retailer. I’d realized before I left the house that it looked as though I was about to sell someone a netbook they didn’t need, dressed as a replica of a Best Buy manager.

I think I may be improving in terms of my awareness, but I’d like to encourage you all to start clueing in those around you who may be about to cash in on their third mocha mud beverage. Seriously folks, you could save some cats.